Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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