I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
