Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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