Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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