i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
