I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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