a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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