The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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