mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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