three words: i give head
three words: not that well
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
