Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
