I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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