And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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