Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
