question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
