I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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