If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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