we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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