three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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