sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
