she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Fuck me I smell like cheese
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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