i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
