That's intense
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
