I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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