ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
