Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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