i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
