Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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