WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
