i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
