forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
