you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
just tell him i said nine months
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
