He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
