just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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