I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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