You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
