Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
