I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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