just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
whose parrot is this?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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