When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
