M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
the day after is always just damage control
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
