and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
