Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
