I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
