i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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