Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
