look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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