I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
