I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
