I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
