And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
