i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
